Sunday, March 22, 2009

I got the blues

I just spend a great deal of time looking through my past blog posts on Livejournal, and it is incredibly surprising to me how happy I was 2 years ago. Not that I'm unhappy now, I just remember how it felt to be newly in California, have wonderful friends, have just met Evan, and feel like I had the world at my fingertips. My life is more grounded now.

I have been feeling really friendless lately. Or maybe it's the lack of significant connections that is getting me. I have lots of meaningful relationships, but I get frustrated that I cannot spend time with these people when I want to (or need to). I am reaching out here, I am, but I consistently feel melancholy, introspective, and a little withdrawn.

We all go through phases, right? That year-long phase after I arrived in CA was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was floating on Cloud 9.

Some things are better now, some are worse. I'm just sick of feeling so down.